15 May 2011

8:13 am

I'm sitting at the kitchen table, trying to extract as much warmth as I can from the hot cup of tea in my hands, and I can't think about anything, except her.

I hold the cup to my face, breathing in the steam, and I can smell the bread toasting under the grill. I imagine her walking through the door and I smile. She's still in her night dress, and she can't really open her eyes yet. She is beautiful. She stands by the stove and holds her hands over the teapot.

-I think I miss this most of all, she says, looking at me and at the kitchen table. -I miss the smell of bread toasting in the oven every morning, and having a nice pot of hot tea ready for me when I wake up, and having someone warm to cuddle after breakfast. That is what I miss most of all.

-Do you really miss things like that? I ask her.

-Of course I do, I miss everything like that. I miss all the little things we did, every morning, and every evening, all the little ways you showed me you loved me.

-Did you know that I loved you? Because I loved you more than I could ever tell you, I really hope you knew that. More than anything in the world, I hope you knew I loved you.

-I hope I knew it too, she replies.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table, trying to finish the toast that I don't really feel like having anymore, and it's a beautiful day.

24 Apr 2011

Old fashioned

Music from vinyl, photos from film, letters from your love and food from the ground. Talking, not instant messaging. Paper and ink, not the glare of a screen. Minus ten degrees in winter, not plus ten. Are you seeing the stars at night? Or is it just an orange glow? Digital versus analogue. A million channels versus three. Owning your personal belongings versus your personal belongings owning you, swallowing a mouthful of selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors versus talking about it with someone who cares.

Old fashioned is just better, Frightened Rabbit said it best. If you want me I'll be outside, wrapped up warm, gazing at the sky and dreaming of a better time.

16 Apr 2011


The breeze was playing with her hair. We were sitting side by side in the grass, our backs leaning against the remains of the thousand year old stone wall. Down below us the waves were restlessly breaking onto the rocks, and in the distance the beaches of the sound shone in the sun.

I turned my head to look at her.

-Hey, I need to tell you something. You are the most beautiful girl I know. You're one of the nicest people I've ever met, and I think about you all the time... I make myself crazy thinking about you.

She said something, then I said something, but all I really remember is that we kissed. It was the best kiss of my life. It was the best anything of my life. I felt like I was falling through the earth at a thousand miles per hour. When our lips stopped touching I couldn't help but smile, and she smiled too. We both leaned back against the wall and gazed out at the sea. I put my hand in hers and she rested her head on my shoulder. I wish we could have stayed like that forever.

I remember she tasted like strawberries and the sea.